“I am a real American, fight for the rights of every man. I am a real American, fight for what’s right, fight for your life!”
MMA’s resident bounty hunter Wes “The Hero” Sims recently graced the airwaves of Knockout Radio to provide fans with his latest story of fighting crime. As many of you know a few months ago Sims was involved in an encounter with four delinquents where he was forced to take the law into his own hands and make a citizen’s arrest. Well he was at it again last week!
“Ever since a little child I was born and trouble has lingered around me. But to let everyone know, Wes Sims has stepped onto the right side of the law. That and the fact that I’ve got a huge schlong. I didn’t know what mom was calling me special for but that’s why.
This morning I was in Columbus at a show and I had a little booth up and I look across the road at the OSU bookstore, Barnes and Noble, and out runs a colored gentleman with all kinds of stuff and the guy behind him, the manager, was yelling “thief, thief”.
Well the marines had a booth setup beside me so the marines took off chasing this guy and I had my keys in one pocket and my cell phone in the other so I started running with my hands in my pockets. Well the marines came up a little short and bailed out on the chase so Wes Sims took bigger strides and chased this man down a few alleys, across a few yards and ended up catching the criminal and you know what I did?”
“You know what I did? I think I set a record. This might be the first time in history, all the world, maybe the universe that a white man caught a black man in a foot chase.”
After Wes provided listeners with his initial story, Knockout Radio host, Randy Harris, intervened and told “The Hero” to tell him what the criminal said when he saw 6’10 Sims chasing him down.
“Well he looked like an owl. His eyes were the size of owl eyes and he just said “Please don’t hit me.” Wes Sims the humanitarian never threw a punch, never had to.
All I know is one thing guys, if I wasn’t such a f*cking badass I would definitely be a cop because I have a friend who is a cop and he said there is nothing better then when a guy they’ve got cuffed is lipping off in public and he is fighting and resisting to drive him to a part of town where there is no public and just beat the human life out of him, the guy. There is nothing better then that. Pop shots they call it.”
When asked if he plans on putting the shirt onto Ebay Wes stated that he was wearing a UFC shirt and providing the organization with free publicity. For those of you that didn’t know, the last time Sim’s made a citizens arrest he took the shirt he wore at the time and auctioned it off on Ebay. Yours truly was declared the winner and was ultimately provided with a blood and mace stained Wes Sims hero shirt.
“Well I was wearing a UFC shirt so I was giving them some free pub. No mace, thank god. I didn’t get maced. I just sat on top of this criminal while he fought and begged for me to get up until the police showed up and arrested him.”
Randy then began to give bits and pieces of the story he had heard in order to get Wes to further elaborate on what was said during the 500 meter dash through alleys and front yards. Finally Sims mentioned what was said when he was cashing the book baron down.
“Yeah I told him that, I said “You better stop cause when I catch you I’m gonna kill you” and he said “Quit chasing me, quit chasing me.”
Sims didn’t stop there. He mentioned that he would have liked to have been in Florida when MMAWeekly’s Jeff Cain was robbed so he could have apprehended the criminal.
“I’m telling ya, I would have loved to have been in Florida in that cab ride with Jeff Cain with this guy putting a bullet in my hip or me apprehending the guy and putting a couple in this guys shins and kneecaps.”
For those of you who haven’t heard the story about Jeff Cain, it can be found here. It’s a scary situation but I’m glad to hear Mr. Cain is alright.